I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
