Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
