I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
