Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
