kristin has been a bad kristin
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
