all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Randomize
