I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize