is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
