I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
