The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
