Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
