i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
