I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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