Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
