I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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