In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
