Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
