Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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