you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You took a bar mat shot.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
