Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize