How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think my vagina is haunted
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
