hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
