keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
