She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You ruined the universe
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
