Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
