if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
