Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
