you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
