2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
