I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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