I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
