Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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