I swear she didn't look like that last week.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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