so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
