Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Don't EVER smell your tampon
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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