dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am available for nakedness
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
