I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
