i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize