real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
