brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
did you just send me my own nude
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
