dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
