There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
