how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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