ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I need a beard to bite.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
