not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
