Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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