Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
