Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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