Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
