It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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