Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
