I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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