I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
