i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
