That's intense
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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