it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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