More tranny stories later!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
