check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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