Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
