you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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