i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
