what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
