i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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