Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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