Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Where is the hickey?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
two words...techno handjob
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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