They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
