i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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