i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
