do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
