Nicole vs. Life
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
