I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
