either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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