just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
