8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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