Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
