If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
